Weird Sex

Discussion in 'The Human Condition' started by Anonymous, Mar 14, 2002.

  1. Swifty

    Swifty Generation Y

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    A friend told me an anecdote similar to that years ago .. its a FOF tale so probably never happened ..

    His mate was in the 69 position with his girlfriend when he suddenly felt the need to fart and was holding it in .. trouble was, he was also about to climax and knew that he wouldn't be able to hold the fart in at the same time .. he weighed the situation up, decided to climax, farted but luckily it was a silent one that didn't smell (yeah .. right) .. anyway, he went round to give her a kiss and there was a bit of sweetcorn on her cheek .. he didn't tell her, managed to brush it off and kissed her :)
     
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  2. escargot

    escargot Beloved of Ra

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    I'm having trouble picturing this, having lived a sheltered life. Why is his bum in her face? Is he standing up with her kneeling in front of him? Who's holding the camera/phone? Why does she slap his bum rather than his nuts?
     
  3. Destiny.

    Destiny. Devoted Cultist

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    Lol!! Well she's about to rim him, his head is down and his bum is up! Get it now? :ddance:
     
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  4. JamesWhitehead

    JamesWhitehead Piffle Prospector

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    We should set this to music! :ddance:
     
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  5. escargot

    escargot Beloved of Ra

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    Yup, we need Carlos.
     
  6. Destiny.

    Destiny. Devoted Cultist

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    Will Carlos take up the above mentioned position too? :rasp:. Just found this appropriate icon! Haha.
     
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  7. kamalktk

    kamalktk Justified & Ancient

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  8. GNC

    GNC King-Sized Canary

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    I have a headache just thinking about it. Not to mention what'll ache for the orgiers.
     
  9. maximus otter

    maximus otter Recovering policeman

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    You don't have the "Need to Know"
    lt’s as if Wordsworth were reborn!

    maximus otter
     
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  10. JamesWhitehead

    JamesWhitehead Piffle Prospector

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  11. kamalktk

    kamalktk Justified & Ancient

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  12. uair01

    uair01 Justified & Ancient

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    Can't remember if I posted this already:

    In 1879, 44-year-old Mark Twain — irreverent adviser of little girls, pointed critic of the press, recipient of some outrageous requests from his fans — took the podium at a men’s club in Paris and delivered a lecture titled “Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism,” onanism being masturbation, after the Bible’s Onan, who spilled his semen on the ground and was slain by God for this sinful transgression. The lecture was eventually adapted into On Masturbation (public library) and illustrated with charming Victorian-style engravings, but to fully understand just how scandalous Twain’s message was at the time, we ought to return to those Biblical admonitions.

    https://www.brainpickings.org/2014/02/26/mark-twain-on-masturbation/
     
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  13. EnolaGaia

    EnolaGaia I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...

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    An important qualification ... Onan didn't spill his seed on the ground as a result of gratuitous masturbation. He was instructed by God to service his late brother's widow (widowed by God, when the brother didn't do as God instructed) so that she could continue having children.

    In other words, it was coitus interruptus, not masturbation.

    Onan earned his own 'smite' for failing to follow God's instructions.

    I don't know if the Big Bully Upstairs found anyone else to keep the widow serviced. In the mean time, scholars and theologians have long debated whether the story of Onan really represents a specific prohibition against masturbation as opposed to (e.g.) a cautionary tale about following He-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed's orders to the letter 'or else'.
     
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  14. JamesWhitehead

    JamesWhitehead Piffle Prospector

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    Last edited: Jun 13, 2018 at 11:06 PM
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  15. INT21

    INT21 Justified & Ancient

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    ..when the brother didn't do as God instructed) so that she could continue having children...

    Yeah, 'get out there and breed'... how that message has resounded down through the ages.

    Anyway, how did God know ?

    Watching from behind a bush ?


    INT21
     
  16. Swifty

    Swifty Generation Y

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    I've just been watching a report on Sky news and, unbelievably, perverts taking photos up women' skirts without their knowledge isn't against the law ?! ... one woman interviewed had this happen to her at a music concert .. she confiscated the man' phone (complete with the picture still on it), showed it to the police and they said there was nothing they could do about it because it was "hard to prove" .. WTF ? .. of the few men who have been convicted, it's been for a lesser charge of public indecency.

    Politicians are meeting today to try and get a specific law passed to make this an actual crime (the slang for this practice is apparently called 'upskirting', politicians are trying to now get a possible sentence of 2 years in prison for offenders) ... I'd argue offenders should have to sign the sex offenders register as well.

    https://news.sky.com/story/upskirti...o-two-years-in-fail-under-law-change-11405180
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2018 at 8:25 AM
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  17. maximus otter

    maximus otter Recovering policeman

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    You don't have the "Need to Know"
    Yes, it is.

    Just because there isn't an Act of Parliament entitled "The Taking Upskirt Pictures Act 1865" doesn't mean that it isn't against the law.

    I'd go for the Common Law offence of Outraging Public Decency, but I might also consider abusive or disorderly behaviour under s.5 of the Public Order Act 1986.

    Others may come to mind, but I haven't had my coffee yet.

    maximus otter
     
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  18. escargot

    escargot Beloved of Ra

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    There was an item on R4 (possibly You & Yours) recently about this. Many girls in school, and even teachers, wear shorts under skirts to thwart this practice. It should be seen as a form of assault.

    It's not even legally voyeurism. Under the Sexual Offences Act 2003 it is an offence of voyeurism to photograph or record someone for sexual gratification without their consent while they are 'doing a private act'. (Like showering or using the lavatory.)
    The loophole is that walking about wearing knickers is not exactly a 'private act'. The invasion of privacy necessary for a voyeurism prosecution would need to be based on a notion of an unauthorised access to a private area of the body or clothing, something like that.

    Anyway, whatever the new offence is called it will offer two years' imprisonment so that's good news. Hopefully it will come under the Sexual Offences Act, with all that this entails.
     
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  19. Swifty

    Swifty Generation Y

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    Sorry Max, I didn't word that very well .. what I meant to say (as you've pointed out) is that there isn't a specific law at the moment re "The taking upskirt pictures act" but the opinion is that that's going to change now thankfully. A man would have to prove now that he had consent to take an upskirt picture (unlikely if the man and woman were complete strangers) .... another angle to look at this is that upskirt pictures used to be on the front page of The Daily Sport, it wasn't lost on cynics that your Paris Hilton's and Katie Prices of the world might have allowed that to happen for publicity reasons each time they got out of a taxi to go into a nightclub but then again, maybe they didn't ..

    Another angle is what if a man and a woman were a couple, she gave him permission at the time, he ran off with another woman afterwards and she now claims (after this new law is hopefully passed) that she didn't give consent as an act of revenge ? ... on the other side of this argument, I suppose a slippery pervert could also state that she did and it's just an act of revenge on her part because he broke up with her ..

    The CCTV footage shown on Sky News this morning showed a man standing behind a woman in a grocery shop taking upskirt pics of her while he was also pretending to be looking at stuff on the bottom aisle on his side .. creepy stuff to say the least and definitely deserving of more than just a fine IMO.

    Me and the Mrs watched part one of an American TV drama called '13 Reasons' detailing this sort of thing where a high school girl has committed suicide after someone shared a pic of her going down a slide and you could see her knickers .. humiliating for the character and an extremely depressing watch .. but it happens in real life.
     
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  20. Swifty

    Swifty Generation Y

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    ... and the bill to make 'upskirting' a specific criminal offence has been blocked by a single MP, Conservative's Sir Christopher Chope ... FFS

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-44496427

    .. a satire pic already from HappyToast at B3ta ..

    aChopeKnighthood.jpg
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2018 at 5:36 PM
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  21. Mythopoeika

    Mythopoeika I am a meat popsicle

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    I understand why he's blocked it, although it can seem frustrating. Christopher Chope generally takes a hard line towards introduction of new laws. He's being cautious.*
    Perhaps instead of creating a new law willy-nilly, it needs to be added explicitly to existing legislation. As Maximus has pointed out, a law already exists that should cover it. Those policemen who decide not to do anything 'because there's no law about it' perhaps need to brush up on their legal training.


    * Although he has filibustered a few things for no good reason in the past, it seems.
     
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  22. JamesWhitehead

    JamesWhitehead Piffle Prospector

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    You would think he might have taken time out for a wee or something, knowing the way his objection might be interpreted! :kersplat:
     
  23. INT21

    INT21 Justified & Ancient

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    ..Perhaps instead of creating a new law willy-nilly,..

    Does this apply to Scots in kilts ?

    INT21
     
  24. Mythopoeika

    Mythopoeika I am a meat popsicle

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    It's that cold up there, it'd be 'nilly-willy'.
     
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  25. Swifty

    Swifty Generation Y

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    This report agrees with you ..

    https://news.sky.com/story/why-mp-s...making-upskirting-a-criminal-offence-11406015
     
  26. Min Bannister

    Min Bannister Justified & Ancient

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    Yes it does. There was a woman on the BBC the other morning speculating that that is the reason why it is already an offence here..
     
  27. MrRING

    MrRING Justified & Ancient

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    I always thought Michael Jackson's "Beat It" was his ode to onanism

    Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it
    No one wants to be defeated
    Showin' how funky and strong is your fight
    It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
     
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  28. henry

    henry still speeding

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    i may be about to do some weird sex ... tap-outs w/ chess clock ...
     
  29. henry

    henry still speeding

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  30. ramonmercado

    ramonmercado CyberPunk

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    Care to elaborate?
     

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