Wankathon

Discussion in 'The Human Condition' started by Anonymous, Apr 15, 2003.

  1. Tribble

    Tribble Furry Idiot

    Messages:
    1,221
    Likes Received:
    1,900
    Trophy Points:
    154
    Mostly puns in mine.
     
  2. stuneville

    stuneville Amministratore principale Staff Member

    Messages:
    10,320
    Likes Received:
    2,279
    Trophy Points:
    234
    LOCATION:
    FTMB HQ
    Went for a fertility test.
    The doctor asked: " Can you masturbate in the cup?"
    I replied: "I'm flattered, but I don't think I'm championship standard."
     
  3. Dr_Baltar

    Dr_Baltar Left Foot of God

    Messages:
    2,636
    Likes Received:
    942
    Trophy Points:
    129
    LOCATION:
    Bohemian Groove
    Easy cum, easy go.
     
  4. MrRING

    MrRING Justified & Ancient

    Messages:
    4,863
    Likes Received:
    874
    Trophy Points:
    144
    Didn't Grant Morrison urge a "group wanking" amongst his readers to help give mystic power to his comic book series the Invisibles?
     
  5. Tribble

    Tribble Furry Idiot

    Messages:
    1,221
    Likes Received:
    1,900
    Trophy Points:
    154
    In fact, he started the project with a sigil he charged while bungee-jumping from a bridge in New Zealand; when it looked like the series might be cancelled early, Morrison used the letters column to teach readers the art of sigil magic and asked them to participate in a "wank-a-thon" to imbue the book with lasting power. The book never got cancelled, and you can't argue with results.

    http://comicsalliance.com/the-invisibles-omnibus-collects-the-essence-of-grant-morrison/
     
    sherbetbizarre likes this.
  6. Tol from Leeds

    Tol from Leeds Fresh Blood

    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    17
    Trophy Points:
    3
    When I was in my late teens in the early eighties I had a mate who was in and out of borstal for various crimes (usually non violent pursuits after money). I got a call one day to go down and meet him and a couple of his friends, they'd all been incarcerated and released at the same time and had headed up to London to look for work. I remember they were holed up in a single room in one of those inexpensive, no questions asked hotels around the corner from Kings Cross Station and, being next to broke, spent a lot of time playing cards or drinking cough medicine for a minor hallucinogenic experience (Benylin used to do that then but you had to drink half a bottle).
    They too would indulge in group masturbation, it was a sort of race, one of them would shout a call sign (nothing too imaginative, 'Wank Race !' maybe) at which point they would all drop their keks and pump furiously away on their knees facing each other in a circle.
    Occasionally socks would be used to avoid mess. I was stunned the first time I witnessed this, they found it hilarious and there was also a certain amount of pride attached to who was the fastest 'gun' each time, I seem to remember being asked to 'umpire' but turning it down.
    They told me this game had come from borstal, it was back in the days of the 'short, sharp shock' approach when juvenile detention centres were pretty bleak (no tv/radio etc, staff beatings, pretty much as depicted in the Ray Winstone film 'Scum'). I suppose with time on your hands it beats playing I-Spy !
    Reading about a 'Wankathon' here reminded me of those times, still smiling now.
     
    James_H, Swifty and sherbetbizarre like this.
  7. maximus otter

    maximus otter Recovering policeman

    Messages:
    1,895
    Likes Received:
    2,649
    Trophy Points:
    184
    LOCATION:
    You don't have the "Need to Know"
    I saw Kenneth Williams on a telly chat show once speaking about - allegedly - having had a fertility test.

    Ken apparently provided a specimen but, on returning for the results, was told by the doctor, "I'm sorry, but you have too much sugar and albumen in your semen. You can never have children, but you can make lovely meringues."

    maximus otter
     
  8. Tribble

    Tribble Furry Idiot

    Messages:
    1,221
    Likes Received:
    1,900
    Trophy Points:
    154
    There's apparently a quote in his diaries :

    Maudie: "Doctor said Adrian has too much albumen and I too much sugar. Can't have children but we can make lovely meringues!"
     
  9. Swifty

    Swifty Generation Y

    Messages:
    18,746
    Likes Received:
    18,783
    Trophy Points:
    279
    I wonder if they were aware of the (possible urban myth) of 'soggy biscuit' that was said to be played in the forces ? .. basically a circle jerk with a biscuit placed in the middle but the last one to finish had to eat the biscuit.
     
  10. James_H

    James_H And I like to roam the land

    Messages:
    4,598
    Likes Received:
    716
    Trophy Points:
    144
    LOCATION:
    Hong Kong
    When I was in school I remember people in the rugby club telling me they did that.
     
  11. Swifty

    Swifty Generation Y

    Messages:
    18,746
    Likes Received:
    18,783
    Trophy Points:
    279
    I heard similar rumours, thankfully I've never witnessed it.
     
  12. OrsonSwells

    OrsonSwells Junior Acolyte

    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    90
    Trophy Points:
    24
    I'm finding this thread pretty hard to swallow.
     
  13. JamesWhitehead

    JamesWhitehead Piffle Prospector

    Messages:
    10,848
    Likes Received:
    6,185
    Trophy Points:
    309
    LOCATION:
    Manchester, UK
    The soggy-biscuit game is so yesterday!

    I am told - by a reliably filthy source - that the "Really Dirty Martini" is all the rage in some (wanking) circles.

    They can polish off a few in a binge. :hungo:
     
  14. maximus otter

    maximus otter Recovering policeman

    Messages:
    1,895
    Likes Received:
    2,649
    Trophy Points:
    184
    LOCATION:
    You don't have the "Need to Know"
    This sort of thing does leave a bad taste in the mouth.

    maximus otter
     

Share This Page