Humour & Jokes

Discussion in 'Chat' started by rynner2, Dec 31, 2007.

Do you have a GSOH?

  1. Yes

    22 vote(s)
    44.0%
  2. Sometimes

    9 vote(s)
    18.0%
  3. No

    7 vote(s)
    14.0%
  4. What's a GSOH?

    12 vote(s)
    24.0%
  1. titch

    titch Justified & Ancient

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    sa
    sticks? branches?
     
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  2. Naughty_Felid

    Naughty_Felid No longer interesting

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    Goosing Les
    come on spill the beans.
     
  3. kamalktk

    kamalktk Justified & Ancient

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    hint: There's a branch with a stubby end pointing upwards in the middle of the picture.
     
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  4. Bigphoot2

    Bigphoot2 Justified & Ancient

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  5. Bigphoot2

    Bigphoot2 Justified & Ancient

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    It's a species of bug known as the Prick Insect.
     
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  6. Bigphoot2

    Bigphoot2 Justified & Ancient

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    Today’s good deed.

    This afternoon at the Tesco check out I was behind an old lady in the queue. Her bill came to £19.50, but when she looked in her handbag she realised she’d forgotten her purse. I thought she was probably someone’s gran and I’d like to think someone would have helped my gran out when she was alive. She didn’t want me to help her but I insisted, and in no time at all we had all her shopping back on the shelves.
     
  7. EnolaGaia

    EnolaGaia I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...

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    dundee3.jpg

    You call that an impressive simulacrum?

    THIS ...

    www_tvn_hu_13dc21a145a959bc3519691f1b927c03.jpg

    ... is an impressive simulacrum!

    v1.bjs4NTk2NzQ7ajsxNzU1OTsxMjAwOzE1MzY7ODYz.jpeg

    :evillaugh:


     
  8. RaM

    RaM Abominable Snowman

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    If your going to have one have a big un.
     
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  9. Bigphoot2

    Bigphoot2 Justified & Ancient

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    Or a tiny little woman.
     
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  10. Swifty

    Swifty The Great Glass Elevator

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  11. Bigphoot2

    Bigphoot2 Justified & Ancient

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    Is that the sound of Mrs Swifty laughing in the background?
     
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  12. Coal

    Coal Gentleman, scholar, acrobat.

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    Dunno I've never heard her laugh :wink2:
     
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  13. Swifty

    Swifty The Great Glass Elevator

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    Well it has been cold lately ..
     
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  14. Swifty

    Swifty The Great Glass Elevator

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    One of her best qualities Coal, completely un self conscious, the same as her smile :cool: (altogether now ... bleuuurgh !!)
     
  15. Coal

    Coal Gentleman, scholar, acrobat.

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    awwwwwww!
     
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  16. Bigphoot2

    Bigphoot2 Justified & Ancient

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    You can tell it's getting near Christmas :)
     
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  17. Bigphoot2

    Bigphoot2 Justified & Ancient

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    The latest in a long line of scandals to hit Hollywood
    [​IMG]
     
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  18. Mythopoeika

    Mythopoeika I am a meat popsicle

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    Inside a starship, watching puny humans from afar
  19. hunck

    hunck Justified & Ancient

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    Right...trust escargot to be the first to spot this. But surely ladies don't have to get married to obtain wood these days.

    yours
    A. Pedant
     
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  20. Bigphoot2

    Bigphoot2 Justified & Ancient

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    Superhero logos and what they mean

    [​IMG]
     
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  21. kamalktk

    kamalktk Justified & Ancient

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    My doctor said eating right doesn’t have to be complicated. He said just think in colors. Fill your plate with bright colors: greens, yellows, reds, etc and keep a balance between all colors.

    After I got home, I assembled a bowl of M&Ms with equal amounts of green, yellow and red. After I ate it, I felt better immediately.
     
  22. Swifty

    Swifty The Great Glass Elevator

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  23. Bigphoot2

    Bigphoot2 Justified & Ancient

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    T'was the night before Christmas,
    and all over the house,
    not a creature was stirring,
    not even a mouse.

    I knew I should have changed the battery in that carbon monoxide alarm!
     
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  24. Bigphoot2

    Bigphoot2 Justified & Ancient

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    On that subject... a classic ad for Scotland's other national drink
     
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  25. maximus otter

    maximus otter Recovering policeman

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    You don't have the "Need to Know."
    Getting ready for this Christmas l went up into the attic, where l discovered a present from last year. We’d forgotten to deliver it, and it was still wrapped in its plastic.

    Pity, the kids would have loved that puppy.

    maximus otter
     
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  26. Swifty

    Swifty The Great Glass Elevator

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    How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman ?

    None.

    (sorry Jesus)
     
  27. Bigphoot2

    Bigphoot2 Justified & Ancient

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    It's so cold outside I saw our local MP with his hands in his own pocket.
     
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  28. Bigphoot2

    Bigphoot2 Justified & Ancient

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  29. kamalktk

    kamalktk Justified & Ancient

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    Deja poo: the feeling you've heard this crap before.
     
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  30. Bigphoot2

    Bigphoot2 Justified & Ancient

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    The AA have warned anyone travelling in icy and snowy conditions should take a shovel, blankets/sleeping bag, extra clothing (including scarf, hat and gloves), 24hr supply of food and drink, de-icer, rock salt, torch, spare battery, petrol can, first aid kit and jump leads


    I felt a right idiot sitting on the bus with all that.
     

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