Discussion in 'Chat' started by rynner2, Dec 31, 2007.
A Valentine's Day short film for you all .. it made me laugh anyway ..
Booked a table for me and the wife for Valentines.
It went down badly.
Turns out she hates snooker
...especially if you try and pot the brown.
Melodysheep's - The WTF Singalong. Surprisingly catchy!
Meet The Parents
General Flynn is not taking his second firing in Washington very well.
New York Post @nypost
Police say a naked man broke into NBC's DC bureau and bit someone who helped stop him http://nyp.st/2kofGAj
The sun was hot already - it was only 8 o'clock
The cocky took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock.
He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs,
The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams
He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank
And saw a ewe down in the dam, a few yards from the bank.
"Typical bloody sheep," he thought, "they've got no common sense,
"They won't go through a gateway but they'll jump a bloody fence."
The ewe was stuck down in the mud, he knew without a doubt
She'd stay there 'til she carked it if he didn't get her out.
But when he reached the water's edge, the startled ewe broke free
And in her haste to get away, began a swimming spree.
He reckoned once her fleece was wet, the weight would drag her down
And if he didn't rescue her, the stupid sod would drown.
Her style was unimpressive, her survival chances slim
He saw no other option, he would have to take a swim.
He peeled his shirt and singlet off, his trousers, boots and socks
And as he couldn't stand wet clothes, he also shed his jocks.
He jumped into the water and away that cocky swam
He caught up with her somewhere near the middle of the dam.
The ewe was quite evasive, she kept giving him the slip
He tried to grab her sodden fleece but couldn't get a grip.
At last he got her to the bank and stopped to catch his breath
She showed him little gratitude for saving her from death.
She took off like a Bondi tram around the other side
He swore next time he caught that ewe he'd hang her bloody hide.
Then round and round the dam they ran, although he felt quite puffed
He still thought he could run her down, she must be nearly
The local stock rep came along, to pay a call that day.
He knew this bloke was on his own, his wife had gone away,
He didn't really think he'd get fresh scones for morning tea
But neither was he ready for what he was soon to see.
He rubbed his eyes in disbelief at what came into view
For running down the catchment came this frantic-looking ewe.
And on her heels in hot pursuit and wearing not a stitch
The farmer yelling wildly, "Come back here, you lousy bitch!"
The stock rep didn't hang around, he took off in his car
The cocky's reputation has been damaged near and far
So bear in mind the WorkSafe rule when next you check your flocks
Spot the hazard, assess the risk, and always wear your jocks!
Even worse that regular ISIS:
I remember seeing this for the first time on the TV many moons ago, sadly the video title gives away the punchline if not the grotesqueness of the surprise... I could only sit there splitting my sides laughing as it's so WTF bonkers:
Inadequate instructions - 100% for this student:
I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker .. but when I got home, all the signs were there.
Pete and Dud get all Fortean
Devon Handy @DevonHandy 5h5 hours ago
A Russian spy, a sexual predator, and a billionaire walk into a bar. Bartender says, "What can I get you Mr. President?"
Two nuns riding bikes down an alley.
"I've never come this way before, Sister Mary"
"Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
I'd be proud if that was my kid ..
"Giving up saddles for Lent was the best penance evah!"
A termite walks into a bar and asks, "is the bar tender?"
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