Humour and Jokes

Discussion in 'Chat' started by rynner2, Dec 31, 2007.

Do you have a GSOH?

  1. Yes

    17 vote(s)
    47.2%
  2. Sometimes

    6 vote(s)
    16.7%
  3. No

    5 vote(s)
    13.9%
  4. What's a GSOH?

    8 vote(s)
    22.2%
  1. Swifty

    Swifty Justified and Ancient

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    A Valentine's Day short film for you all .. it made me laugh anyway ..

     
  2. Bigphoot2

    Bigphoot2 Justified and Ancient

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    Booked a table for me and the wife for Valentines.
    It went down badly.
    Turns out she hates snooker
     
  3. rynner2

    rynner2 Justified and Ancient

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    WEBSITE:
    http://cornwalltidesreach.weebly.com/index.html
    :D
     
  4. Coal

    Coal Gone full 'folk festival'

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    ...especially if you try and pot the brown.
     
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  5. Vardoger

    Vardoger Skeptical by nature

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    Melodysheep's - The WTF Singalong. Surprisingly catchy!

     
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  6. Swifty

    Swifty Justified and Ancient

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    Meet The Parents

     
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  7. ramonmercado

    ramonmercado CyberPunk

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    General Flynn is not taking his second firing in Washington very well.

    New York Post
    @nypost
    Police say a naked man broke into NBC's DC bureau and bit someone who helped stop him http://nyp.st/2kofGAj
     
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  8. MungomanII

    MungomanII Mostly harmless...

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    The sun was hot already - it was only 8 o'clock
    The cocky took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock.
     
    He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs,
    The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams
     
    He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank
    And saw a ewe down in the dam, a few yards from the bank.
     
    "Typical bloody sheep," he thought, "they've got no common sense,
    "They won't go through a gateway but they'll jump a bloody fence."
     
    The ewe was stuck down in the mud, he knew without a doubt
    She'd stay there 'til she carked it if he didn't get her out. 

    But when he reached the water's edge, the startled ewe broke free
    And in her haste to get away, began a swimming spree. 

    He reckoned once her fleece was wet, the weight would drag her down
    And if he didn't rescue her, the stupid sod would drown.

    Her style was unimpressive, her survival chances slim
    He saw no other option, he would have to take a swim.

    He peeled his shirt and singlet off, his trousers, boots and socks
    And as he couldn't stand wet clothes, he also shed his jocks.

    He jumped into the water and away that cocky swam 
    He caught up with her somewhere near the middle of the dam.

    The ewe was quite evasive, she kept giving him the slip
    He tried to grab her sodden fleece but couldn't get a grip.

    At last he got her to the bank and stopped to catch his breath
    She showed him little gratitude for saving her from death.

    She took off like a Bondi tram around the other side
    He swore next time he caught that ewe he'd hang her bloody hide.

    Then round and round the dam they ran, although he felt quite puffed
    He still thought he could run her down, she must be nearly 
    stuffed.
     
    The local stock rep came along, to pay a call that day.
    He knew this bloke was on his own, his wife had gone away,

    He didn't really think he'd get fresh scones for morning tea
    But neither was he ready for what he was soon to see.

    He rubbed his eyes in disbelief at what came into view
    For running down the catchment came this frantic-looking ewe.

    And on her heels in hot pursuit and wearing not a stitch
    The farmer yelling wildly, "Come back here, you lousy bitch!"

    The stock rep didn't hang around, he took off in his car 
    The cocky's reputation has been damaged near and far

    So bear in mind the WorkSafe rule when next you check your flocks
    Spot the hazard, assess the risk, and always wear your jocks!
     
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  9. Yithian

    Yithian Keeping The British End Up Staff Member

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    Even worse that regular ISIS:

    [​IMG]
     
  10. OneWingedBird

    OneWingedBird Justified and Ancient

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    I remember seeing this for the first time on the TV many moons ago, sadly the video title gives away the punchline if not the grotesqueness of the surprise... I could only sit there splitting my sides laughing as it's so WTF bonkers:

     
  11. Yithian

    Yithian Keeping The British End Up Staff Member

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    Inadequate instructions - 100% for this student:

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2017
  12. Swifty

    Swifty Justified and Ancient

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    I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker .. but when I got home, all the signs were there.
     
  13. Bigphoot2

    Bigphoot2 Justified and Ancient

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    Pete and Dud get all Fortean
     
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  14. ramonmercado

    ramonmercado CyberPunk

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    titchagain, Mythopoeika, Coal and 3 others like this.
  15. ramonmercado

    ramonmercado CyberPunk

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  16. Bigphoot2

    Bigphoot2 Justified and Ancient

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  17. Bigphoot2

    Bigphoot2 Justified and Ancient

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    Two nuns riding bikes down an alley.
    "I've never come this way before, Sister Mary"
    "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
     
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  18. Swifty

    Swifty Justified and Ancient

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    I'd be proud if that was my kid ..
     
  19. JamesWhitehead

    JamesWhitehead Piffle Prospector

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    "Giving up saddles for Lent was the best penance evah!" :evil:
     
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  20. kamalktk

    kamalktk Justified and Ancient

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    A termite walks into a bar and asks, "is the bar tender?"
     

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